Why, America, why? Where'd your pride go?

I am re-posting a rant from my FB profile (yeah, I finally made it back to get back in touch with old friends)...It's long, so read or don't read... :)

---

Are the American people really so stupid and easily led, that they would believe anything they are told, without ever checking it out for themselves (this goes for all sides of the aisle)? They're just gonna allow corporations to rape our democracy in the name of profits? Are we for sale, people? Are we?

Last time I checked, it was our right as free citizens to protest peacefully when we disagreed with policy and corruption, vote as we see fit (hell, vote at all!) and expect NOT to be detained against our wills indefinitely without so much as a charge, much less a trial. Recent and still-on-the-table policies have become absolutely atrocious!

Why shouldn't we fight to restore the things that make this country great, while we still have enough rights left to do it? I, for one, don't want to see America become the fascist, totalitarian nation depicted in 1984 (George Orwell book from the 40's for those who don't know)...I've seen enough "double-think" propaganda in recent years that this is actually a concern to me.

It's fine if others don't agree with those of us who feel this way...this IS America, after all, and it's allowed. However, calling us names like commies, fascists and socialists without even seeming to realize what those words really mean (they may need to look in the mirror for those first 2,...just sayin!) only serves to ignite the flames they've stoked in people ignorant enough to assume these people actually know what they're talking about.

So, that's how they deal with people who disagree with them? Pay politicians to help stomp on their rights and try to discredit their views and values with ignorant rhetoric? Sounds like a lack of confidence in their ability to win on a level playing field to me. All the projection and doublethink they spew in the name of holding us down is just shameful!

I'm all for using the consumerism that's been pushed on us in recent decades against those who've pushed it...a little consumer ju jit su, if you will. If profit is all that's understood by these people, then let's show them who still has the power and hit them in their pocketbooks. We can vote for the corporations whose actions we agree with and shun those we don't...kinda like we do with the politicians themselves...

If you can make something instead of buying it, why not? If you can make do with what you have and shop less often, for fewer items, why not? If you can substitute one brand for another to make your point, why not? There's nothing wrong with being practical, as opposed to excessive, and there's nothing wrong with finding out what policies are being bought with your money (from taxes AND consumer purchases) and acting on what you learn.

It's the People that makes a democracy a democracy and our voices DO matter! It's time they hear our collective YELL!

Time for a Positive Note

I know...I've been mainlining the blog tonight..but it's been so long since I've posted :)

I keep saying I'll add in pics of our new home and haven't but it's coming. I just need to get my "spring" pics taken and I'll have one from each season to show. The views out here are breathtaking and definitely know how to calm me down when I have a typical anger fit. Moving out here has already worked wonders on my stress...but it still has so much to do!

This year, I'm determined to start taking steps toward self-sufficiency. Please know I don't do much of anything halfway...I'm all or nothing! I'm talking re-activating the flowers the lady we bought the house from planted (which were destroyed this past fall in the torrential rains we experienced), planting some new ones, turning a big part of my backyard into a vegetable garden, composting my own soil and learning how to do things that will build it out into a mini-farm (we're only on an acre).

Among the things I wanna learn are keeping chickens for eggs and emergency food; keeping bees for honey, wax, etc. for salves, candles and maybe some home-brewed mead; possibly moving on to goats for milk, which is good for drinking and beauty products (maybe with honey); growing some herbs and distilling my own oils; canning and preserving to make better use of my harvest; building my own solar panels and wind turbines (we're on a very windy hill)...the whole nine yards!

I've wanted this since I was a teenager doing energy healings and tarot readings...nothing says hippy utopia like your own mini-commune. It's like heaven to me.

Somehow, I've got to manage to make the whole thing workable. School starts back next month, I have online work and am in the process of putting my youngest back in daycare to take on a job outside the home as well. Somehow, I have to get through 50-hour days, do the impossible and pull yet another rabbit out of my ass. But I'm determined as hell to do as much as possible.

I'll keep you posted on my progress and will try to get around to posting those pics too! Till next time...g'night (it's 2am and tomorrows another early day!).

Frustrated with Freelancing!

I've decided to deviate from my (now) usual political rants to rant about something else, LOL

Don't get me wrong, I love oDesk but am becoming frustrated with the way clients are allowed to steal work from contractors, get by with not paying for work turned in, etc. I get it's a contract work situation, not an employment contract, but other freelance sites have systems in place to protect their contractors from situations like this (I know...I'm signed on to a couple of them).

A recent client of mine hired me for an article, to be ghostwritten in someone else's voice. I didn't really have time for it but really need the money, as I'm not working steadily at all and have bills to pay. I put current projects on hold to juggle the deadlines for each, understanding this one was due sooner.

In any case, I turned it in before the deadline, asking my client to respond to let me know if it meets his needs and, as is standard for me, reminding him of my complimentary revision policy to make sure it did. No response. I waited 2 weeks, tackling other work and staying very busy between it and home/family events, then tried contacting him again. This time I requested either feedback on my work or payment if it met his needs as is. Again, no response.

At this point, I'm starting to get mad. I can see he's been on the site hiring for other jobs but he can't take 2 minutes out to hold up his end of our contract. I contacted oDesk, knowing it's not their policy to allow disputes on Fixed Price projects (which I normally avoid but he had established a history of paying them, so I took a chance). However, the rep contacted my client on my behalf to request payment...still no response.

I waited a few more days, then finally decided to make my work illegal to steal. I check the site it was written for periodically and, so far, it hasn't been added but I wanted to be sure my work stayed my own, unless I was getting paid for it. I'm also considering putting an attorney on retainer but would like to avoid it if possible. I've already got two cases pending (custody thing with my ex and a medical dispute), so being forced to create a third would leave me seething and that's just no good for anyone that has to deal with me.

Being a karma balance person, I prefer to believe he'll shoot himself in the foot with his poor business practices, with no involvement on my part necessary. However, being a Scorpio, I'm prepared to ensure both feet get in the way if I'm pushed to do so. We'll see how it goes but I'm rooting for the more peaceful resolution. Anger's the easiest emotion for me to express but it's too easy...I still prefer the self-righteous indignation that comes with sitting by and watching idiots do themselves in, odd as that sounds for a hippy to admit.

Anyway, on a more positive note, the majority of my clients have been awesome, including my most current one! He's a god-send, very patient with my ever-shifting schedule of duties and encouraging of the work I produce. While I'd prefer getting more done for him each week (my schedule's fault, not his!), he's very much the type of client I enjoy working for. I've had many clients like him since starting with oDesk and they are the ones who make the stress of working from home worthwhile.

From the Grocery Store to the Spa

As you know, saving money and beauty products are two of my favorite things, so if I find something that mixes the two, it’s fabulous (and I’ll share)! I won’t keep you guessing here, I’m talking about turning a grocery store trip into a super-luxe home spa experience. A surprising number of foods do double-duty as cosmetics, with little to no change to their natural state, and have tons of benefits.

For starters, when you’re making your own cosmetics, you know exactly what you’re smearing on your skin, it’s usually loaded with nutrients your hair and skin needs anyway, plus you save some money. It’s so win-win, it’s worth trying at least once.
I think the biggest thing about it is, really, is knowing which foods to mix together and how to prepare it and all that. It’s really not as hard as you’d think. I’ve got some pretty good recipes to share with you. They’re easy to make, don’t require crazy ingredients you’ve never heard of and most are even good for sensitive skin. Let’s start with a list, go on to benefits and then we’ll get to the recipes.


A basic shopping list may look like this:

• Honey
• Milk (regular, goat or even powdered)
• Oatmeal
• Eggs
• Plain yogurt
• Avocados
• Carrots
• Apples or natural applesauce
• Olive or grapeseed oil

And if you wanna go more luxe, include:

• Strawberries
• Sugar
• Cocoa (or dark chocolate to grate)
• Red wine (even the cheapest kind works!)
• Coffee

You may have some of these in your kitchen already and, if you do, you’ll save even more money. Also, if you have any unscented cleansers, body washes, bubble baths, etc. lying around, some of these can be added in for an extra boost. A good example is cocoa, powdered milk or coffee grounds.


How does food make such good cosmetics, anyway?

Ironically enough, the same foods that are good for eating are also good for your outside too, because they are so loaded with vitamins and things you need. I’m talking anti-oxidants, proteins, alpha-hydroxy acids…the whole works! A lot of the store-bought cosmetics add this stuff in, but it’s naturally in a lot of the foods we eat. So, what can the foods on this list do for you?

• Alpha Hydroxy Acids (AHA) – Apples have an AHA called malic acid, which is very gentle on skin, dissolves dead skin cells, clears blackheads and fades dark spots. Milk/yogurt has lactic acid, another AHA that moisturizes and brightens skin. Strawberries contain salicylic acid, which is good for cystic acne and is also an AHA.

Wine has many AHAs, including tartaric, lactic, malic and citric acid. Glycolic acid is used in many chemical peels and can be found in grapes. It’s important to note, when using fruit acids, that it can make you more prone to sunburn. If you make your own AHA peels, be sure to use extra/higher SPF sunscreen and/or mineral makeup (which contains titanium, a natural sunscreen)!

• Cleans/refines pores – Oatmeal is one of the best for this, because it can get a lot of the gunk out that can lead to acne and is better for sensitive skin than the sticky strips are, while yogurt and eggs can tighten and refine pores.

• Exfoliates – Coffee grounds, sugar and even salt are all good for this but so are the seeds in the strawberries.

• Smoothes/softens – Raw honey may just be the world’s best natural moisturizer, being good for dry and acne-prone skin, as well as having enzymes and anti-bacterial properties. Eggs have a natural emollient, which soothes and softens skin. Avocado is a good alternative to honey, because it has healthy oils in it that makes it perfect for dry skin and hair.

• Vitamin infusion – Wine, chocolate, carrots and strawberries have anti-oxidants, which help your skin fight free radicals known to age your skin. Eggs and milk/yogurt are high in protein, which helps strengthen hair and can aid skin in building collagen. The coffee has caffeine, which technically isn’t a vitamin, but is good for increasing circulation and, some say, reducing cellulite, so it’s worth noting.

So, we know what this stuff is and what’s in it, but how to mix the cosmetics? Like I said before, it’s actually really simple and mostly involves mushing it up and applying it to your hair or skin. Yeah, it sounds messy but it’s a lot of fun and the results speak for themselves. Let’s get started!

Skin:

• Pore “Sucker” Mask – Take some oatmeal and grind it as coarse or fine as you want in a blender or food processor. Wet with water or milk to make a paste. You can basically add anything you want, depending on the type of mask you need. Try applesauce, honey or some mashed avocado! Apply and leave on a few minutes (10-30, your choice), then rinse off thoroughly.

• Pore-tein Acne Mask – Beat 2-3 egg whites, saving the yolks for something else, like hair conditioner. Apply to your face, leave on 20 min and rinse with lukewarm (not hot!) water.

• VitaMoisture Mask – Take 1 mashed avocado, 1 cooked and mashed carrot, 1 beaten egg, 2-3 tbsp honey and either 2 tbsp yogurt or milk powder, mix it together in a bowl and apply to your face/neck. Leave on 10-15 min, then rinse with cool water. This mask can even be used as a homemade body wrap!

• Café Latte with Oatmeal-Honey Biscotti Mask – Mix 1-2 t. ground oatmeal with 1 t. cocoa, then add 1 tbsp. honey and enough milk or yogurt to make a paste. Apply to your skin and leave on 15-20 min before rinsing off with warm water. You can add coffee grounds too if you want, for circulation and more exfoliation.

• Strawberry Smooth-ee Mask – Mash up 1 strawberry. Add in ½ t. sugar and powdered milk (or 1 t. honey and 1 tbsp. yogurt) to make a paste. Apply to your face, leaving on 10-15 min before rinsing in warm water. This can be used as a hand and foot scrub too.

• Sweet Red Bath – Add as much as 1 cup of honey and a few cups of red wine to your bath. This will clarify and soften your skin...and leave you feeling pampered!

Hair:

• Strengthening Shampoo – Beat a couple of eggs and massage into your hair before rinsing. You could add 1 t. olive oil for moisture and added shine but, if you do, you should balance the ph-level with something acidic (like ½ to 1 t. apple cider vinegar or lemon juice).

• Strengthening Conditioner – There are 2 versions of this to choose from:

o Beat 1 egg yolk and mix with ½ t. olive oil, then ¾ c. lukewarm water. Massage into clean hair, leave on 10 min before rinsing with warm water.

o Beat 1 egg white and mix with ¼ c. yogurt. Apply to clean hair and leave on 10-15 min then rinse with warm water.

• Avocad-Oil Conditioning Mask – Mash an avocado and add about a teaspoon of olive oil. Mix and apply the paste to clean hair. Leave on 30-45 min (with or without a head wrap), then rinse well with warm water. You could even add a cooked and mashed carrot for extra vitamin action.

These recipes can be customized for whatever you need for your skin or hair type. Your only limitation is your own imagination. Now, go grab some of your girlfriends and have a home spa party!

Canada for US President? Beats the Alternative!

OK, I had this long crazy political tirade all set up to go, about the Komen foundation thing, how idiotic and out-of-touch our GOP candidates are (excepting Ron Paul), how our money has no real value, so on and so forth when it dawned on me that it was much better to just post this video I found.

Mind you, I found the other Canada video first but felt this one covers it more. Everything they say about the candidates is true, in my opinion. Nonetheless, the sheer comedy of it beats most of what we could come up with on our own. Believe it or not, I've entertained the notion of moving to Canada, should America be dumb enough to vote a Republican in this go-round, to spare my family the tyranny that would surely ensue...but perhaps Canada will make a home here instead ;)

Enjoy!

Tonight, I'm celebrating with Old Fezziwig!

I made it to the doctor today...and the news, while a little confusing, was good!

My neurologist told me that my lesions were caused BY my headaches, not the other way around. HUH?!? I don't fully get how that works because my doc talks so fast that it's harder to follow his accent. However, he did make it very clear that there's no aneurysm, tumor, Multiple Sclerosis or anything serious like that...but he did say that a lot of my headaches are stress-related (which my last neurologist also said) and curbing the symptoms is where it's at.

I'm not the type that's cool with daily meds (much prefer the holistic stuff!)...and I actually didn't start my first dose tonight because I'm sampling one of the brews in the seasonal combo I bought the other day, starting with the Old Fezziwig! I'm worried about mixing alcohol with medicine, so I'll start with my morning dose tomorrow and skip meds on the (rare) occasions that I do have a beer or glass of wine. I can still take my Valerian root when I feel the need, according to Doc, so I think I'm OK :)

One of the prescriptions (the pain one, not the muscle relaxer) had some hellish-sounding side effects listed amongst the info they give you...increased risk of stroke, heart attacks and even stomach/intestinal bleeding. I'm wondering if I should take it with my stomach problems, but the doc did know about those when he prescribed them...do the risks outweigh the benefits? I don't know but I'm willing to trust his expertise to see if it helps reduce the headaches so I can function better. I go back in 6 weeks and, if it doesn't help, we'll try something else. I'm still going to check WebMD to be sure before I take it...may do that now...

My dad was as upset as I was - he heard the word aneurysm as a possible cause and blocked the rest out, I think - and even offered to take out a life insurance policy on me if it was something serious, since I'm not yet in a position to have something to leave my kids and ensure my boyfriend has the help he needs (my share of the expenses, etc.) if I wasn't around. That's what I'm in school to build towards, late as my start is at 31 years old. I very much appreciate the sentiment but, luckily, it's not necessary and I have time to work on that on my own!

If there's a bright side (aside from NOT facing possible incapacitation or an early grave), it would be that it's really made me evaluate what's most important to me. I can't say I won't still be a workaholic that's obsessed with studying anything I can get my hands on, but I am more concerned with what I leave my loved ones with...I'd rather it be great experiences where my kids have learned something from me, etc. and not that I worked so much that I overlooked too much with them. I saw that revelation coming, really, and hope to find a better balance with that.

One of the things we've had planned with my oldest (who's almost 9 already!) is martial arts classes. My attorney teaches and I'm thinking of going that route. My boyfriend is a yellow belt in 3 disciplines, taught by a student of Bruce Lee, but his schedule and some health problems don't allow for his teaching. I also wanna help my son learn more about architecture (he wants to build houses, he says), dance and see him through his dream to play soccer.

My youngest is still into anything and everything that's fun! At 3, he's too young for the martial arts classes, so we want to encourage him in other things in the meantime. He's big into music and loves to perform (hence his rendition of the Hanes and JG Wentworth commercials, etc, etc. LOL). His oldest brother (my boyfriend's 20-yr old son) plays guitar and is amazing, and his great-uncle plays violin and banjo. Nearly everyone in my boyfriend's family is musically inclined, either singing or playing something, so it seems to be almost a birthright for him.

I realize I'm rambling so I'm going to have to punch Old Fezziwig in the face to make it stop...all in good fun :) To a wonderful night!

I Feel Vindicated At Last!... But Not So Good About It...

It's been a while since I posted on something that wasn't a rant, aside from the piece about the Hanes commercial :) I keep saying I'll post about my boyfriend asking my Dad for my hand in marriage, my school updates, etc., then get caught up and forget or get too tired to do anything at all.

Anyway, I finally made it back to the doctor because I still feel crappy. Between the almost constant nausea, intestinal pain, exhaustion and headaches that have stuck around pretty much in one spot (with occasional movement elsewhere), my doc decided to - finally - set up an abdominal xray and an MRI for my head.

The xray showed up fine, despite persisting symptoms, but the MRI turned up some interesting results. It turns out there are lesions on my brain. I was so upset yesterday after finding out that I could do nothing but cry and look up any and all possible causes for such a thing...which are MANY and VARIED!

I kept telling myself not to get so upset because we don't yet know how serious it is (I have an appointment with a new neurologist Monday for further tests). It could be something major, like a tumor, aneurysm or Multiple Sclerosis...OR it could be something caused by the hormone therapy I had a couple years ago (which triggered the worst of my symptoms) or even the one bad tooth I have, which I've delayed having a root canal on or have pulled.

The only thing I know for sure is that I have solid proof that my symptoms weren't in my head (figuratively, at least), as some doctors tried to get me to believe as I left them to get new opinions. I also know that the one organ I hold most dear is being/has been attacked in some form or other and that scares me. Sure, our hearts and other organs are important but, in my personal opinion, they are the engine, carburetor, etc. while the brain is more like the transmission...without a way to shift, a car will just idle and that's a big part of what our brains offer us.

The damage could be permanent and /or progressive or something that's already hit it's peak and I just have to adapt to the cognitive changes that have already taken place. I have steadily lost the ability to multi-task effectively and find myself nearly walking into corners, getting dizzy/numb, etc. for a while now. The thought of losing any functioning, whether it's cognitive, motor, or whatever scares me...But I won't know until we run other tests what it is and what to expect.

All I know at this point is that my nature is to fight anything that poses itself as an opponent. I intend to fight whatever this is and pay forward any help I get along the way. I was looking into energy healing, acupuncture, etc. even before the test was run, with the intention of also getting help getting back into performing healings myself (Reiki classes, etc.) so I could help others who are out of balance. The call to do healings and re-awaken my creative self has been stronger recently than it's probably ever been and I hope I can still do it...

American Politics (Oi Vey!)

It's not often I bring up my political or religious beliefs on this blog...it's not what I created it for. However, my Myspace account is no longer active and politics in this country has reached such an unprecedented scale of ridiculousness that I can't NOT comment on it. Where to start????

Last night, our President gave his annual State of the Union speech and, while I agree that it's his precursor to his re-election campaign, he brought up some excellent points for where change is most needed in America. Namely, jobs and the economy, decreasing financial burdens on the average citizens while the rich gain more on our backs, benefits to the middle and working classes, as well as to the students (and teachers) that will build our newest generations....in general, fairness across the board.

Who would have an issue with that, the intelligent and educated citizen would ask, right?

The obvious answer would be the GOP, who oppose anything that doesn't directly benefit them and those who over-pay them to push their (usually, corporate) agendas. Speaker of the House, Boehner, went on FauxNews to call the President's speech "pathetic"...BEFORE he even gave his speech! How immature is this party getting, in their pursuit to maintain the status quo?

I almost never bring this up in public, because it's a distant and political connection, but my grandfather's cousin spent some time as Speaker of the House (and became well-known for his fairness and integrity, which are common traits to my family in general), so I'm ashamed to say that this office is now being used to the opposite purpose. It's a disgusting abuse of elected office!

More than ever, they are pushing the religion card around. Romney's Mormon, Santorum's Fundamentalist Christian and Gingrich has tried out a few. Some GOP-ites are calling for kicking Obama out of office, under the idea that he's an "avowed Muslim". This appalls me completely because one of the great things about this country is the whole Freedom of Religion thing our Constitution states.

America was founded by Deists (who believe in God but deny divine interaction into any earthly affairs), who felt one's religion was a personal matter and not to be taken into politics. For crying out loud, Ben Franklin could easily have been called a Satanist for his Libertine, self-serving views! America was founded to be the safe haven from places where religion ruled in politics.

My point is that the religion of our President or the GOP candidates (or anyone else) should never be a political platform. Period!

The GOP are now vying for nomination for the upcoming election and can't even keep from cheap-shotting one another! Problem is, of the 4 remaining candidates, only one has stayed away from the nonsense - Ron Paul. Santorum has only shown his propensity for claiming he's more of a religious zealot than the rest (not to mention all the money he took from the healthcare industry), while Romney and Gingrich are quibbling over who's the biggest sell-out and who's cheated more on their taxes. News Flash: They're BOTH dangerous to America, in more ways that I can list in one post!

Is this the best the GOP can offer our country? Meanwhile, they claim they're all for the People. Between "stealth" attempts to pass harmful legislation behind the backs of US citizens (SOPA/PIPA, Citizens United, more bank/corporate bailouts at taxpayer expense, among others) and gross negligence of our Constitutional rights (with emphasis on our 1st and 4th amendment rights), they really only offer us more of the same of what Americans are sick of and promise to introduce more Big Brother-esque tactics to hold citizens even further down.

America deserves better than this, to be sure!

In my opinion, Pres. Obama's biggest flaw is wasting 3 years of his first term in office trying to negotiate with these over-paid, sell-out babies. They roadblock everything he proposes and then blame him when nothing gets done. To me, it's akin to negotiating with terrorists (a no-win, except to those hoping to profit from it).

He needs to take a tougher stance and push the agenda of the People. It's what he stated in his address and I really hope he sticks to it. I guarantee if he does, he'll win the Undecided vote and probably some of the moderate-rights...he'd almost definitely get re-elected because people are sick of the crap. So, less talk, more action...more progress!

Here We Go Again!

I've been meaning to post for quite some time but have grown lazy, even for me and considering all that's been going on. I hope that everybody had a wonderful holiday season and are gearing up for kickass new year!

My youngest son (who's now 3) has inherited his brothers habit of rehashing commercials and he totally got us with this one today...it's just too cute not to pass on! His new favorite commercial is the Hanes underwear spot where the fruit rides in on horses medieval-style.

His grandpa gave him a rocking horse for Christmas, along with his cousin, and while riding them together this morning he comes off with "We bring news! Of a new tee...that fits like no othah!" Call me an enabler but I'm trying to get him to say "Wear them well. We ride!" My sister and I are still cracking up!

I'm including the ad for reference....I wonder what he'll come up with next...LOL!

ARRRGGGH!!! It's All Just Too Much!!

Another bitch session...Read at your own risk!

Why do people go out of their way to make you feel sorry for them, so you go out of your way to help them...only for them to throw fits and act like idiots when you don't do things the way they think you should?

I'm dealing with that a few times over right now. My mother-in-law is telling sob stories to get us to let her move back in. My boyfriend and I both have family and friends who want to do the extended-stay thing. Despite them all acting respectfully when they visit short-term, we're not so sure about all that. Yesterday, the friend I did let stay, thinking she was solid and just needing a leg up, showed her true colors and I had to kick her out.

Things were fine at first, but quickly turned into very typical crying sessions that interrupted my ability to get things taken care of (like schoolwork, interviews, etc). That's fine...I know she's had a rough go of things for a long time and felt she earned the self-pity sessions. Hey, I've done it myself a time or two and it has it's therapeutic benefits. I am cool to be a shoulder for friends in need, especially once they've proven themselves to me and she had (she saved my life a few years back - I could've died in a fire).

However, this had gotten to be a constant and involved her getting drunk whenever my brother-in-law brought liquor over (he had a crush on her). Once, she even got drunk and passed out while babysitting my youngest (he couldn't wake her up and it scared him...my b-in-law told me about it after the fact), which she tried to justify by being depressed and never did apologize for.

Anyway, my car is in the shop and my boyfriend needs the other for his (now) long commute to/from work. I can only get it on occasion and only when I'm able to pay the double gas back and forth. Well, she walks in just a couple minutes after I get up yesterday and asks in a snarky tone, "so you didn't get the car again today, did you?" Excuse me?!?! As if it was my obligation to run her to town on HER timeframe...especially after she'd gone calling people, giving out my number and address (once to my worst enemy even) and telling them things to make them think we kept her isolated from society as our live-in slave. Really?

I was starting to see why there were so many bridges burned between her and other friends lately. Yes, we're in the country now and I can't get to town on a whim these days, but "live-in maid" doesn't usually refer to someone who stays up all night to talk to some guy she thinks is going to be her savior, while she leads other dudes on out of boredom and sleeps most of the day. Sure she helped with my son, some chores, helped us move, put in applications for work and all that but she was rarely asked to do any of those things. She just did them on her own and was thanked repeatedly, kept in cigarettes and given the run of the place (she got more use out of the computer and phone than the rest of us). We tried to make sure she was made to feel at home and connected to friends, family and her kids, while she tried to get herself together.

We had a few heated exchanges yesterday and she's yet to apologize for scaring my son, starting the frustration/angst-riddled arguments, leading on my brother-in-law and causing a stir between him and his brother. She just thinks she's entitled to create havoc with those who try to help her and we're supposed to give her what she wants in return. No sir, not this bitch! I don't play that way. So, now she has no place to stay (said burned bridges), until she can coerce some poor schmuck to take her in and I'll play the villain in her next sob story. I really didn't want things to end that way, but she kept spitting on the olive branches I was handing to her in between arguments.

Some people refuse to be helped and have to do it for themselves. If I can scratch and claw my way from the bottom...staying with various friends and not having a job, to getting my first place (on my own) and going back to college, to juggling a new baby (working and studying)...to the more recent home ownership/work/school/mommy juggle with a happy relationship thrown in...ANYBODY CAN! The only catch is that it's not easy at the least, takes years of building up (and re-building, even) and takes not letting anyone (be it friend, foe, an old flame or a struggle with depression) throw you off track. It's all about holding steady through the inevitable obstacles.

It sounds like it but I still don't hate her. I actually just think she's messed up and trying to pass the blame of her self-hatred to others. I really hope she finally gets it through her head that you don't make progress in life without being willing to sacrifice or change things (like negative reactions to little things and escapist behavior)...you can't run from everything that's unpleasant in life and expect others to do the work of "fixer". She does have the potential to do great things with her life and I hope she gets past this whole "user" phase...she wasn't always like that and I like to think she'll return to her old self soon enough.

Anyway...that's enough bitching for now. I'm spent! Besides, there's too many reasons to look forward, rather than backward, and that's where the focus should be. Here's to hoping my posts get sunnier!

Hecticity and the Libra Complex

Yet another major delay on the blogfront! Since my last post, I've gone on a pretty constant job/car/house hunt, which literally ate up about 15 hours a day. My goal was to have all that set up before the move and school starting...a goal I'm juuuust barely meeting (school starts Monday and we're still unpacking). A steady job is still being hunted.

No offense to Libras (you know I love you's!) but it seems I'm dealing with their more unreasonable, drama-whore sides these days. Between my mother-in-law, my sister and my youngest son, it's been pretty relentless!

My mother-in-law wanted to move in with us, so we moved her 2 hours down to do that (under the condition that she switch doctors to avoid constant trips out of town). She agreed, but then started insisting on keeping her doctor - who BTW, is about to lose his license anyway for improper practices - and expecting us to drop everything to drive the 4-hour round trip multiple times a month. She's since decided to move in with her friend back up north and put constant pressure on us to send her mail to her and pay her storage fees down here (during an already stressful move).

I try to be patient with her because she has severe emotional problems that have gotten progressively worse (we suspect she's in first-stage alzheimer's, to boot), but it got to the point that I told her to quit calling and cussing out our answering machine, that I'm hip to her "pity-me" games and the lies she tells to get her way...not gonna fall for it! (She apologized to me, then said "it was worth a try") Her friend even called to cuss out my boyfriend and call him a bad son for not bowing to his mother's unreasonable demands (I made sure I was home for the next call from that number!). My boyfriend even lost his patience, which is pretty significant for a Pisces to do, but wound up driving her stuff to her just to stop the calls. I don't abide BS phone calls, especially when they're perpetuated by a "friend" who doesn't even know the situation. I love his mom but the pressure had us both ready to just be done with her entirely. Last I heard, she was asking if she could move back in if things don't work out with her friend...I'm not so sure how I feel about that at this point.

Enter my sister, another Libra. I had made the decision to turn custody of my niece back over to her, because I was at a point that I wasn't sure about finances and really didn't want to have to transfer her to yet another school system (we moved quite a distance away from home). She wants to be with her mom and she's already been to the school district her mom lives in, so she's got friends there.

My sister has made no bones about the fact that she thinks she shouldn't have to pay child support and has even asked if I thought they'd give her her money back (seriously? everyone here knows the state keeps that when they make the custodian take a state check for a family member they take in). She makes it sound like it's all about the money but what about my niece's well-being? It's making me think twice about signing custody over, especially since she's in such a hurry for me to sign paperwork that I don't yet have access to, that she's wanting to go through the courts (which requires fees neither of us have the money to pay). Why do that, when we can file a consentual form for free? I don't get it.

My youngest, bless his little heart, has been acting the fool something fierce! I understand that he's almost 3 and kids that age act up, but the little guy is straight up off-the-chain these days. I can't get anything done for chasing him around and keeping him out of stuff...school and work has become an after-thought at this point, which is a bad thing because we need my income to cover our mortgage and bills and I have to finish this degree.

I totally kidnapped a friend of mine (not a Libra but a fellow Scorp!) who'd hit some rough times and she's been staying with me and has been a HUGE help, but my boy is sometimes too much for even the both of us. Here's to finding a good daycare or pre-school way out here in the sticks, so she and I can meet some work and school goals! If we can work in the time to create some web-things we came up with, that would be a major bonus!

The good news is that we did find a house in a good location, with the right amount of space and (the best part) a significantly lower payment than we were paying at that horrible, mold-infested house we were renting (court date pending on that!). We're getting settled into our new area and into the home. I've lived in the general area briefly as a teenager but my boyfriend isn't familiar at all, so I'm happy to say we're navigating our way around very well. As soon as I can get it formatted, I'll add a pic of the view from my driveway of those gorgeous hills!

Now, if I can just keep the Libra complex at bay until this cosmic psycho spell passes, maybe I can maintain what's left of my sanity (if anything) and get some steady work and start school on a good foot.

Hope things have been well with you all...I'll be catching up your blogs as soon as I get my latest copywriting project out of the way!

Why so unprofessional?

!!!!RANT ALERT!!!!

I don't know what it is, but this week has been horrible for dealing with so-called professionals. From potential clients to job sites, it's been pretty bad.

Due to the drop in my hours and lack of quality job postings on oDesk, I've branched off to build profiles on other sites as well. So far, I've signed up for Solvate (who has a review period I'm still waiting on), PeoplePerHour (UK-based), Workaholics4Hire (who turned out not to have many listings at all) and SOHO Jobs. I don't particularly like the set-up of Elance or Guru, so I haven't gone there - yet.

SOHO looked really good at first and promise quality listings and encourage sign-up. I looked over the TOS and signed up. I soon realized that their free version only let you SEE the listings...you have to pay a subscription fee to apply. WTF? Why wasn't this mentioned upfront? I sent a complaint to customer service and deleted my account.

The owner(?) herself replied, stating that she was ticked off at my complaint because she and her staff will not work for free. First off, who ever suggested anyone work for free? My complaint was at the requirement to pay just to apply to jobs. Other sites charge employers a small fee based on actual work done, not on the job hunt itself.

In the midst of all this unprofessionalism, I've been getting hit up for interviews...even straight up offers... on oDesk. Sounds great, but when I reply back wanting more information on the company, industry, tasks, etc. (many invites give very little info upfront and usually read like "I like your profile and want to know your availability for a part-time gig"), they decline my application. Really? You think employers would want to hire somebody who's interested in knowing their needs and discussing the best ways to serve them. Are we supposed to be mind readers?

One guy invited me to interview for a job he posted no more than one brief sentence about and asked for my email, phone number, etc. I don't give out my personal information at all and only established clients receive my email and skype (NOT my personal phone numbers) because there are many scam artists out there trolling job listings and I loathe spam, so I politely told him I don't give out that information on the outset.

He responded by messaging me (via oDesk) that he wasn't trying to "virtually rape" me then declining my application (or, rather, my invite), stating I lacked the necessary skills/qualifications. Again, really? If I lacked the skills, don't invite me to interview for your job! I feel his childish behavior totally justifies my policy...and this guy was supposed to be a company president!

Things are stressful right now anyway, with my hours down and dealing with my landlord (whom I'm taking legal action against for various contractual violations). My mother-in-law moved in...I love her but she requires 2 trips a month back to her hometown (which is 2 hours away, one way, with gas costs as they are), until we're settled in at our new place and get her doctors transferred there. On top of that, my health has decided to go helter skelter again...they really need to do the follow-up Crohn's tests. With all this going on, why must I have to deal with a new batch of idiots at every turn?

There are bright sides to all this, oddly enough. The severe drop in hours actually opens me up to go ahead and start my own business, assuming we figure out which home we're moving to because it will determine how far I can go initially and which products I'll start with. Both houses are out of town, so I'd need a second car to work outside the home, but that might still be an option.

You know what they say about creation out of destruction...right about now, there's plenty of room to build! I just hope I can maintain what's left of my sanity in the meantime. I'm putting on my seat belt for this ride!

Hope you're all doing better on your ends of things!

Major Changes...and a Proud Mama!!

Another long delay on the homefront...there have been so many changes this summer.

We got into the one house and, after spending a lot on paint and cleanup prior to moving in (with no reimbursement and in addition to the deposit, mind you!), we moved in and found the house leaked like crazy! We've started the escrow process and the landlord is coming to fix the main leak tomorrow (I get the feeling he'll ignore the roof leak though). We're thinking that we'll pursue legal counsel for getting our money back on at least the cleanup and painting.

In the meantime, we've been looking to buy a home and I've been looking in 3 separate locations in my state. This house is for sale but we decided we didn't want it - even to continue renting!! We found a gorgeous - immaculate! - home that we're working out the details on...hopefully we can get that, though it will mean my getting more work to cover the extra costs. It's no prob, since I was looking for more work anyway - my hours have dropped and my current interviews are on-going (still!). When I find something closer to full-time that's long-term, I'll jump on it!

The highlight of my day was just a few minutes ago, when my 8 year old was telling me what he wants to be when he gets older. He said doctor first (for the money) and when we were talking about what goes into becoming one, he mentioned wanting to "create buildings and construction". I asked him if he meant architecture and he said "yeah, that's it!" and gave me his typical thumbs up with a big grin.

That's when it dawned on me...he's uber-creative, even to the point of eccentricity, and building things with Legos is his #1 passion...he's perfect for that type of gig! I'm making it my mission to teach him about various styles (art deco, modern, grecian, etc.) and help nurture his interest, like I'm doing with his cousin (who wants to pursue nursing).

Now, to figure out what my 2 1/2 year old wants to be.... :)

It's Almost Over...

School, that is. I just finished this week's coursework and all I have next week is one chapter to read and 4 assignments (3 that actually integrate into one large final assignment and my final blogpost on my social media metrics blog I started for school). Then, I have the summer off, which I needed to take, lest I lose what's remaining of my sanity :)

This week started my new contract so, after today, I'll have put in over 30 hours, which is better than I've done in a long time. The work is varied and sometimes tedious but I'm so happy to be working again (particularly in marketing and ecommerce!) that it doesn't matter. Tommorow, I'll be able to devote time to my third contract, which will take a few hours I didn't have for it during the week. Then, I'll be as caught up as I can be until Monday.

The delay for the new apartment is still going on, but I'm OK with that because it buys me some time to find a place better suited to my family's needs. If it comes down to it, I'll take the one in my building to be able to provide my niece her own room (even at the expense of my having a dedicated office space b/c the place is laid out different than my current apartment). However, I will move again if I find something better, even though it will mean adding to my expenses (it's an acceptable trade-off at this point). Needless to say, I'm hoping something else presents itself to avoid the extra work of moving twice. So far, two good prospects have slipped through my fingers, so I'm hoping the third time's the charm.

Here's to an awesome and productive (without being exhausting) weekend!

Still Reeling From the Whirlwind (and loving it!)

This has been quite the busy week and I couldn't be happier!

For starters, we didn't have to move yet...the new apartment wasn't ready yet and won't be till sometime next week (painting, etc.). But the delay, along with some new developments, may put my original goal back in sight. My fingers are crossed in a major way!

I started a new contract on Tuesday as a Marketing Assistant for a lady whose business is very much in line with what I enjoy doing...working with start-ups and small businesses! I also started a contract with a young college student who is starting up his own business and needs some marketing help. Furthermore, I got another contract from a lady who was referred by my new client I started with Tuesday...I literally just got the confirmation on that and it starts Monday!

With so much going on, I'm glad I have only two more weeks of school and decided to take Summer Term off...all this work puts me close to full-time, which is great! Needless to say, I canceled all the interviews that had been initiated, then sat dormant after...I don't like interviews that are sitting open too long anyway...it feels inefficient somehow.

Now I just need to see if that house is still available for rent and see if I can borrow from my dad what I need to get us in there quickly! I hate the idea of asking him for anything, much less money (and particularly that much!), but I should see a decent disbursement this fall and could pay him back in full. If everything gels, we'll be in a place with all the space we need and in the best location for us.

I hope everything works out...and that you all are doing well and seeing Spring's fruits blossom as well!

Quick Interlude

I am interrupting my previous post to mention that I saw my hometown on A&E's show Intervention last night. I heard they were there filming but didn't realize it would air so soon. The topic: "hillbilly heroin" (prescription drug abuse/dangers of "pill mills" and the fact that ole P-town is still among the top list for it in the U.S.) - no real surprises there, 20/20 was there a few years back because it had been named the Oxycontin Capital of the U.S.

Not hard to see why I'm so Not proud to call that place my hometown...that kind of thing has been rampant there longer than I've been alive! However, I was glad to see that there are people trying to kick their habits and organizations trying to help them do it. There is also (finally!) some initiatives for laws that regulate the pill mills and may even shut them down completely.

Progress is progress!

What a Week! (a.k.a. Is It Coming Together Yet?)

I'm checking in early! LOL But I figured since I had to create a blog for school last week (attached to my Blogger profile, if you're interested) and had to pop in weekly for that anyway, then I could surely pop in here also, even for a sec.

There's been some good and bad this week, but I'm hoping it's all coming together for the good. The bad is that I'm stressed from constant job-hunting and resume-sending, as well as a nasty incident at Dollar General that involved my cussing at the cashier for trying to assault me with the turnstile and the manager for claiming I couldn't file a complaint about it (she was "never given the paperwork for customer complaints" - my foot!). I pretty much never behave that way in public, but I was already stressed to the gills and the situation called for it.

All I asked was for the cashier to void one of my items...I only had about 8 to begin with and it wasn't my fault if her, nor her manager, was not properly trained on how to void an item and they had to void the entire purchase and re-scan everything. It certainly didn't call for her to try to take my arm off with the turnstile as I was picking up my bags to leave. I filed a complaint with DG Corporate's HR department and am waiting to hear back. Considering I could've called the police and pressed charges (or worse, try to hit her back), I think I behaved myself pretty well, in regards to how big a scene was caused.

But annnnyway...

The good is that I've started getting hit with interviews and have negotiated possible side-work helping a student with an interesting start-up in my free time. I don't know how I'm going to work it all into my schedule, especially if I get 40 hours/wk, but I'm going to have to work it out. There's one in particular that came about today that I'm especially excited about (albeit, it may involve the most work).

Another good thing is that a 3-br came available in my complex and we're next on the list! It should be ready sometime next week and it's not far from where my 1br was located (when I lived alone, aside from visits from my oldest, before I gained a houseful). I'm started to feel shuffled around but it's OK...my biggest issue is where will my desk and sewing table go, as the layout is tricky that way. Hmmmmmm

Unfortunately, the house we wanted may be out of our reach. It's still available but there are certain things that aren't so negotiable. I'm hoping that is something that will change and preferably before making the move next week. My fingers are still crossed.

In any event, I better go and finish up my homework for this week...who knows, I may have a job that needs started on the horizon!

WOW, it's been a while since I've posted (I know, I know...randomly posting has become my theme). I'd like to say it's that I've been so uber-busy, but this time, it's just laziness on my part, a.k.a. sleeping in my free time.

Just to update my previous rant-post, that woman no longer says one word to me. I like that because it means I don't have to be a bitch but it sucks because she's earned me being a bitch and it denies me socking it to her because there's no sense in bringing it up now. She's on my list, though, for next time...

A lot of my time has been spent tweaking my work profile and applying, like, everywhere, both online and off. I got a call from a top company (full service marketing in the automotive industry who was looking for an SEM specialist) in my boyfriend's hometown, wanting me to begin the recruiting process. I was stoked...until they backed out prior to the official interview.

That's OK, though, because I've got resumes to other top companies in the area (they certainly aren't the only ones...it's a big city), as well as an application to intern at one of the top companies in the country. I hope something comes of that because the position the internship is for is something I'm already equipped for (more than the other companies, which the positions are admittedly a bit out of my league). Anyway, an internship with this company would be a very pretty addition to my resume and could also lead to a full-time position after graduation. Nice...

Why am I on the hunt for a full-time gig when some days, it's all I can do to complete my schoolwork and run everyone around? Because I'm sick of living in a cramped apartment and being broke, that's why. I am willing to work myself silly to reach my goal, whether it means we move into this awesome house we found in my hometown or we move to the big city. The place in my hometown means my niece could walk to school and see her friends more often, but paying the extra rent on top of bills we aren't having to pay right now requires me working full-time. Is it worth it? Hell, yes! Along with my niece's independence, my boyfriend could take over the whole getting Bubby to daycare thing and free me up some time to work.

Will it come together for us? That remains to be seen. I had an interview yesterday, another scheduled for today, one possible for next week (won't know till then) and a whole mess of applications and resumes floating around out there. If I can secure a solid job, my dad may be able to cover the costs of moving in quickly and I could pay him back in a couple months time. At this point, I'll do anything to get out of where we are...management and maintenance here have always been nosy (interrogating everyone at every turn - they got my neighbors yesterday, who are also good tenants - then act like you're lying even if they know you're not), but it's gotten worse lately and it's annoying me to death.

I've been spending more time looking for a job than studying, online from early morning to late at night hunting good leads (with occasional naps because that gets exhausting). My fingers are crossed probably more than they've ever been. This house is in the right location, for the right price and with the right amount of space...if we lose this, I'll do something I rarely do anymore...cry!

I can't believe how big this post got...I think I should just stop now.

Some Days, I Just Really Hate People

UPDATE: Thanks to "blog therapy", I decided to not call this time and be the grown woman I pride myself to being. However, if another comment is made toward me or my child, I will commence to telling her off then and make a formal complaint (to both offices). After that, I'll decide whether or not to switch daycares (he's made some friends here but this one was actually my second choice).
---------------------------------------------------------------

WARNING: Excessive Rant Alert!!

It's no secret that I have very little tolerance for ignorance...within reason, at least. Babies are ignorant of how to walk until we teach them...that sort of thing is understandable ignorance and so not what I'm bitching about right now.

There's this *lady* (and I mean that quite sarcastically) at my son's daycare who really gets on my nerves. She's always sneering at me whenever I drop him off and pick him up...first strike against her because I not only don't know her but she's the lunch lady...she doesn't even take care of the kids.

I overlooked that because looks don't exactly kill, it's only a minor annoyance, and I chalked it up to her being one of the many people in my small town who are just naturally grouchy people. I'm way more used to that kind of thing than I should be...(there's a legend in town that when the white man came, the natives here put a curse over it to doom the newbies to lives of unhappiness...not sure how true it is but there is a cloud of negativity here that doesn't go away and you can see it daily in the inhabitants).

Last week, she started complaining that his hair needed cut. Granted, it was a bit overdue but things were tight this month and meshing our schedule with our stylist's is generally dicey because the one day a week we normally have to do those things is the one weekday that she's closed...it has to be worked in wherever we can do so. Also, it's none of this woman's business...he's clean, healthy, exceptionally intelligent and isn't abused in any way, so an "emo-style" swoop on a two-year-old should be the least of her worries. Strike two...but I overlooked it because it was the first time she actually said anything and I try to give everyone the benefit of having a bad day.

Enter this morning. She follows me back to the coatroom on her way to the cafeteria to make some snarky-ass comment about me having to shift around his days to make time for appointments (which I do give them notice on whenever I can, BTW). Her claim was that "we have to shift our workers around and fill his spot on those days with paying parents..."

That's what pissed me off! While it's true that, as a broke student, the state is covering 25 hours/week for daycare to allow time to study, it's also true that I'm not milking the system like the drugheads around here do. For someone to imply that I'm among that group really razzes me...strike three! Everyone at that daycare knows that he's there because (1) I need the study-time free and (2) it's good for him to be around kids his age fairly regularly and he isn't old enough for pre-school yet. Not to mention that I do pay a co-pay every month for his being there.

She would also know that, since she spends her time chatting the care-givers up instead of working. I accept assistance with this and medical because we need to until we're out of this town with its bullsh*t stereotyping. I take as little as I can get by with because I feel it leaves more for those in a tighter spot than mine...they had to literally make me take a check for my niece when she came to live with me because it was "part of the process" (which actually wound up coming in real handy after I transferred to a more expensive college and got smaller disbursements). If I could afford it on my own, I'd be paying for a full week, not just taking him 3 days a week.

I didn't say anything at the time because I was a combo of a bit shocked at her inability to keep her damn mouth shut and had to go back to pick up my niece for school (normally she's with me, but she goes after everyone else on Thursdays and wanted to finish getting ready). I thought about overlooking her remark, but the more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off. I am so sick of sh*t like that, I could scream. I almost went back just to chew her out and my niece told me I "shouldn't let stupid people bother me". True enough (she's a smart kid), but I'm still seething...I just can't seem to shake it. It's not my fault if she lacks satisfaction in her life and feels the need to berate others, as though she knows anything about them.

I'm debating whether or not to call and make a formal complaint (with the daycare and, if necessary, the state agency that handles my case with them). To one degree, it seems excessive for one ignorant remark but, on the other hand, I don't want this idiot thinking she can start making me her verbal punching bag. I've been around people like this all my life and I can spot 'em a mile away...she's definitely one of those. If I don't make sure she's clear on some consequences for acting like that, she'll keep doing it and it will escalate to the point that I may have to knock her ass out to shut her up. I got in a lot of trouble as a teenager for doing that kind of thing, so I'd really prefer to keep my adult record clean.

I can only tolerate ignorance like that so far before I snap...which is saying a lot because I do have some pretty good self-control...I have to be REALLY mad to react like that. However, that said, I've been under a lot of stress the last couple years and I'm seeing some of my old anger patterns re-emerging. I don't like it but I recognize it as a natural reaction to long-term, on-going pressure, though I do worry what will happen when I finally lose the ability to hold it together. Some days, this is what I use to fuel the energy and intensity I need to get things done in a day...it has its positive uses.

Whatever I decide to do about this incident...I'm sure going to get a lot done today!

Whew! Finally Made It Back!

I can't believe it's been a month since my last post...it certainly was not intended! I've come across so many things to blog about in that time but had become so busy with everything that I kept forgetting to log in and post it.

Thank you for the comments you sent. The ultrasound went very well...not only is my gall bladder in good shape, the lady overseeing the intern doing my test made comments like "see her pancreas? that's what a healthy pancreas is supposed to look like". Since that test, I've been put on a heart monitor (for the occasional racy heart symptoms), which came back great, saw an allergist (test showed no allergies, despite lifelong sinus symptoms, which I suppose is good?) and had a CT scan for my long-swollen lymph node (no results till tomorrow but the node doesn't really bother me...they just want to be sure it's fine).

I suspect the CT scan may not be entirely necessary but I've had doctors in the past get concerned when they found that lymph node swollen, so who knows? As each test result comes back, I'm convinced that I'm still fairly healthy but I'm no closer to finding out why I can't shake the exhaustion and still have the GI symptoms. I've gotten a little of my energy back but I still take the occasional long naps (prob. 4-5 days a week). As I gain energy, I'm planning to use it to get back into shape and see how much that helps everything...I'm actually wondering if it's as simple as that. Is it possible that I was in such good health before that this dip could have made the difference and caused these symptoms? It's a curious thought, at the very least.

On the career front, I don't think I'm keeping busy enough. Everything's basically ad hoc and I'm finding that I keep going into these uncertain phases...for example, I might get caught up in a task, get it up to date, but get stuck on where to pick it back up after it's been a couple of weeks away. It seems weird to me, because I typically leave 'save points' for myself. On top of that, being completely ad hoc keeps me in a 'strictly maintenance' situation...it doesn't really allow me to make the kind of money I need to afford a bigger place. Since getting custody of my niece, she's been crammed into an already small room with her male cousins...not ideal for a teenage girl...and, though we're on the list for a bigger apartment in this complex, they're hard to come by. Something's gotta give.

So, I'm on the hunt for something more regular, that also pays well. By my estimates, seeing how I haven't had much come in besides a quick copywriting project that I'm pretty well finished with, I find myself in the position to discontinue my current assignments amicably and start fresh with new criteria. The only thing I aim to keep is the online marketing internship I started last week with a personal finance website. It doesn't require many hours and is flexible enough that I can work elsewhere on a regular schedule and maintain school.

I found something local that pays well and sounded like something I'd like to do. It's weird for me because I have social anxiety disorder and have gotten used to pretty much shutting in over the last couple of years but, on top of being bored, I think part of my problem is that I'm starved for adult interaction. I feel the need to challenge myself more and think now's the time to get started already.

So, I sent in my CV and a cover letter this morning. I'm not entirely certain that I'm qualified enough for middle management but took the chance anyway. Their requirements weren't too far out from where I'm currently at and I'm a fast learner. On top of that, getting CPR/First Aid Instructor-certified won't be too much of a problem, so that's covered too. If they're willing to take on a student, I'm willing to work. The only thing is that it appears to be a full-time position...but it's in the evening, which helps a lot, and I discussed it with my family and my boyfriend and niece said they were willing to help as much as possible so that i could do it, if hired. I'm sure my dad would help as much as he could too if, for instance, I got called in early and needed him to pick up my boyfriend from work or something like that. I love the feeling that I'm not as on my own with everything as I thought...my family is great at pulling together when we need to.

If this one doesn't pan out though, I'll be on the lookout for things on oDesk, as well as locally and will be keeping track of the corporate internships I found in Marketing. I find 'corporate' to generally be a bad word, but I'd be kidding myself if I didn't admit the experience and references it would bring would be a great career boost...and earn enough money to sustain us until I got my own thing started.

Anyway...I'll stop rambling now, LOL...I'll be back soon enough! Hope all's as well with you!