UPDATE: Thanks to "blog therapy", I decided to not call this time and be the grown woman I pride myself to being. However, if another comment is made toward me or my child, I will commence to telling her off then and make a formal complaint (to both offices). After that, I'll decide whether or not to switch daycares (he's made some friends here but this one was actually my second choice).
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WARNING: Excessive Rant Alert!!
It's no secret that I have very little tolerance for ignorance...within reason, at least. Babies are ignorant of how to walk until we teach them...that sort of thing is understandable ignorance and so not what I'm bitching about right now.
There's this *lady* (and I mean that quite sarcastically) at my son's daycare who really gets on my nerves. She's always sneering at me whenever I drop him off and pick him up...first strike against her because I not only don't know her but she's the lunch lady...she doesn't even take care of the kids.
I overlooked that because looks don't exactly kill, it's only a minor annoyance, and I chalked it up to her being one of the many people in my small town who are just naturally grouchy people. I'm way more used to that kind of thing than I should be...(there's a legend in town that when the white man came, the natives here put a curse over it to doom the newbies to lives of unhappiness...not sure how true it is but there is a cloud of negativity here that doesn't go away and you can see it daily in the inhabitants).
Last week, she started complaining that his hair needed cut. Granted, it was a bit overdue but things were tight this month and meshing our schedule with our stylist's is generally dicey because the one day a week we normally have to do those things is the one weekday that she's closed...it has to be worked in wherever we can do so. Also, it's none of this woman's business...he's clean, healthy, exceptionally intelligent and isn't abused in any way, so an "emo-style" swoop on a two-year-old should be the least of her worries. Strike two...but I overlooked it because it was the first time she actually said anything and I try to give everyone the benefit of having a bad day.
Enter this morning. She follows me back to the coatroom on her way to the cafeteria to make some snarky-ass comment about me having to shift around his days to make time for appointments (which I do give them notice on whenever I can, BTW). Her claim was that "we have to shift our workers around and fill his spot on those days with paying parents..."
That's what pissed me off! While it's true that, as a broke student, the state is covering 25 hours/week for daycare to allow time to study, it's also true that I'm not milking the system like the drugheads around here do. For someone to imply that I'm among that group really razzes me...strike three! Everyone at that daycare knows that he's there because (1) I need the study-time free and (2) it's good for him to be around kids his age fairly regularly and he isn't old enough for pre-school yet. Not to mention that I do pay a co-pay every month for his being there.
She would also know that, since she spends her time chatting the care-givers up instead of working. I accept assistance with this and medical because we need to until we're out of this town with its bullsh*t stereotyping. I take as little as I can get by with because I feel it leaves more for those in a tighter spot than mine...they had to literally make me take a check for my niece when she came to live with me because it was "part of the process" (which actually wound up coming in real handy after I transferred to a more expensive college and got smaller disbursements). If I could afford it on my own, I'd be paying for a full week, not just taking him 3 days a week.
I didn't say anything at the time because I was a combo of a bit shocked at her inability to keep her damn mouth shut and had to go back to pick up my niece for school (normally she's with me, but she goes after everyone else on Thursdays and wanted to finish getting ready). I thought about overlooking her remark, but the more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off. I am so sick of sh*t like that, I could scream. I almost went back just to chew her out and my niece told me I "shouldn't let stupid people bother me". True enough (she's a smart kid), but I'm still seething...I just can't seem to shake it. It's not my fault if she lacks satisfaction in her life and feels the need to berate others, as though she knows anything about them.
I'm debating whether or not to call and make a formal complaint (with the daycare and, if necessary, the state agency that handles my case with them). To one degree, it seems excessive for one ignorant remark but, on the other hand, I don't want this idiot thinking she can start making me her verbal punching bag. I've been around people like this all my life and I can spot 'em a mile away...she's definitely one of those. If I don't make sure she's clear on some consequences for acting like that, she'll keep doing it and it will escalate to the point that I may have to knock her ass out to shut her up. I got in a lot of trouble as a teenager for doing that kind of thing, so I'd really prefer to keep my adult record clean.
I can only tolerate ignorance like that so far before I snap...which is saying a lot because I do have some pretty good self-control...I have to be REALLY mad to react like that. However, that said, I've been under a lot of stress the last couple years and I'm seeing some of my old anger patterns re-emerging. I don't like it but I recognize it as a natural reaction to long-term, on-going pressure, though I do worry what will happen when I finally lose the ability to hold it together. Some days, this is what I use to fuel the energy and intensity I need to get things done in a day...it has its positive uses.
Whatever I decide to do about this incident...I'm sure going to get a lot done today!
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21 hours ago
I am so offended and pissed off on your behalf. Where does she get off judging you for needing assistance? She has no freaking right. As I am disabled (in so many ways) I depend on the gov't for almost all of my income, my medical, my nursing services, etc. I can't stand it when people make snide comments to me about it.
ReplyDeleteGirl, file a complaint! She needs to know she can't get away with that. If she's making comments like that to you, who else is she using as her punching bag?
Whatever you decide to do, though, I totally support you. Good luck!
Thank you for your support, and advice. Funny thing is that she now says nothing to me, which is good, but doesn't allow me the satisfaction of telling her off. Trade-offs, I guess, LOL
ReplyDeleteHope all's well with you!